aquarian musings

I've brought some show-and-tell: I used to write all of the time - just jotting down random thoughts automatically, creatively. Somehow I completely forgot about this old pastime until recently when my mom was trying to clear out her space and sent me home with a pile of old notebooks. Here are some thoughts that were flowing through me 10-15 years ago. (Well, these are the ones that weren't rooted in angsty love-lust). I look at them with such new eyes, like a mother amazed at the perceived big word that her toddler speaks. A time capsule: A young, limited experience, innocent - unaware, unconscious of what she did and didn't know. It makes me want to start writing again, in hopes that I may have some fun, inspirational reads to reflect on in another decade. I hope you enjoy, there is definitely a common theme!

(2000-2001)

The only thing I understand in this world is the desire to escape it. And the only thing I desire to excel at is breaking all of these limitations.


The worn path will wear you.



I miss being young and free
I miss the feeling of not knowing intoxicated pleasure
but just the moment itself
I will forever need my mothers nourishment,
I now realize
Nourish yourself; her wisdom



What is wholesome?
What is good?
I watch us take each step carefully along the hard, narrow cement after one another
Conformity? Is that good?
All of these gigantic boxes really get into my head sometimes
And I long for the water, 
the air that tunnels through trees and passes through my body
awakening my senses and thoughts with each inhale
I long for moments in life where my eyes easily close 
without the heaviness of the material world 
pressing in on my brain and exhausting my intentions 
to try to free myself from the assembly line.

You've always resisted opening your eyes underwater because you're afraid of the sting. But you get used to it, and then you realize how much you were missing, and how many wrong turns you made, just because you feared the discomfort that seeing entailed.


(1997-1998)

This Blank Piece of Paper
This is my bible
Whatever I write
I follow
If I disagree with myself...
I cross it out and rewrite
These words that I have written
This is what I follow
This is what I believe
These are my thoughts, my faith in myself
This Blank Piece of Paper
This is my bible.

What would you say if you bumped into yourself?
Would you say 'excuse me' or would you blow you off?
Swear to your mother or plot to kill your soul
Save you from the cowardly planet
Save you from the dog next door
Save you from the fire in the sky
Save you from the vision of the MAN wearing that weird bow tie.
If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of a man working on the chain...right next to you.
If you watch carefully, you can see that the small print reads
"I wouldn't sign this if I were you, but instead I'm me, and I'm getting paid to sucker you in."




The slope of the shadow along the torso
leads to the nature, the long, since prehistoric obsession
The touch, the smell of living, breathing
It is within only your comprehension that the mystique is uncovered
Your own eyes, your own hands
Your own heart, YOUR OWN
Where we come from
What we search for
Its more than flesh, its more than blood
And although senses mightbe heightened, its not what you'll feel for eternity
In that place between 

Go through the maze and reach for the light. 

 On your mark, get set...go

I feel as though you understand
And that even though you don't know my place of birth,
you know who I am, I am you
You know my passion that remains hidden - and you didn't even have to look.
You're special.
You are on fire.
You feel and your soul is lifted by the steam of your heart. 
I love you as a person - you're a true human - you feel. 
Hold my hand like the grass is rooted in the earth. Complimentary.

(painting by Gil Gatfield)

pyramid power

Recently watched the dvd series "The Pyramid Code" with the husband. The documentary series, produced by professor, author, researcher, explorer and filmmaker Carmen Boulter, is amazing and ground breaking! It explores the scientific indications that the pyramids were power sources (not tombs) among many other things.Watch the trailer below. Then watch the full series on YouTube if you like. And visit the website. You also might be interested in taking a listen to this interview on Red Ice Radio.

conception perception

(In the spirit of double rainbow guy, "what does it meeeeaaaan?")

We often look to visual artwork, movies, commercials, poems, songs, etc., as expressions of ideas with the use of symbolism. But lately I'm thinking about this 3 dimensional realm that we live in, and that literally everything that we see and touch around us is a symbol for an idea, a collective belief that we all have. We create/manifest our thoughts into material existence. Some people reject this idea, thinking that this statement implies that when you think something it instantly appears. Following this line of thinking - seeing as that this obviously doesn't seem to happen for most of us (based on our definition of "instant" in our concept of time), the statement doesn't seem plausible. But who decided that manifestation had to be instantaneous? Every object around us has originated with a thought, something non-material. First came the idea/thought/belief, then came the act of using our tools to build something based on that vision. So we literally do manifest our reality, whether it takes billions of years, or some amount of months, or a 30 minute meal. So I am interested in the part of the physical reality that most of us can't see - the slippery, elusive thought matter behind every thing we have created.

con*cep*tion [kuh n-sep-shuh n] -noun  1. the act of conceiving; the state of being conceived. 2. fertilization; inception of pregnancy. 3. a notion; idea; concept: She has some odd conceptions about life. 4. something that is conceived: The machine is the conception of a genius. 5. origination; beginning 6. a design; plan. 7. the act or power of forming notions, ideas, or concepts.  

 

"...We work with being, but nonbeing is what we use." Lao Tzu

While having the stream of thoughts flow through my mind, my eyes focused in on the railing around our porch, which I normally don't even acknowledge or think about. "What does a railing symbolize?" I thought to myself. It signifies our belief that we need a boundary wherever we find a railing, that for whatever reason we believe that we need a reminder that without that boundary we may find or inflict harm or discomfort if we go there (wherever there is). That there is a need to keep something in, or keep something out. The belief that we can separate inner from outer. If we did not have these beliefs, we would not have created railings and fences, for there would be no reason for them, as it would not yet have become our conviction that we needed to attempt to isolate one part from another. In exploring the symbolism of the railing, we can ask:
What would the world be like without boundaries? What was it like before we brought about this symbol of separation? And if we removed such a symbol, would it alter our belief that we need such boundaries?

This of course, is just one example of the symbolism that is all around us. Paying attention to the meaning inherent in every structure gives new perspective and profound meaning to the world. It makes you think about what your beliefs really are, and what you want them to be. If we want to change our collective beliefs, then manifesting a physical structure - or maybe more importantly removing structures and things that aren't relevant anymore, is our task. Of course, this brings us to the realization that there are some groups of individuals that are well versed in shaping the collective belief systems simply by introducing the idea into our physical environment. (One obvious means of doing this is through the use of media). This you probably recognize, also happens to be explored in the movie "Inception".

*update 9/16/10* Today I read this quote which is all too fitting with the subject of this post!
"...everything on the material plane takes on new meaning because it is seen as a symbol for an inner quality or state of being." Liz Greene, from her book Saturn: A New Look at an Old Devil

What do we believe? We can see by looking at what objects and symbols we surround ourselves with. And what do we want to believe? What ideas and frameworks still have value, and which ones are outmoded and should be deconstructed to build something new? Hmmmm...
And who knew a porch railing could be so mentally stimulating?



Recommendations:
*The previous post "crystallization" also relates.
*For further exploration of the power of your beliefs, I always highly recommend the work of Dr. Bruce Lipton.
*The work of Michael Tsarion and his study of symbols, words and history has also enriched my life and added perspective.
*The work of the individuals over at the The Sync Whole (and the myriad of other blogs that interweave there), make amazing connections and decipher symbolism through the observation of film, pop culture and more. Their stream of connections is enlightening, but is also just plain fun and inspiring!